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in a matter of weeks,A new ist lady would emerge in Lagos state and by Political projections,it should be between Mrs Biola Agbaje a lawyer and Mrs Patience Bolanle Ambode,After days of gruelling search and spotlight this was what we could get on the 2 women,which one would you rather have as 1st lady based on what you read.
iN THIS 2014 INTERVIEW with SUN nEWSPAPERS,Biola Agbaje spoke about her LIFE,CAREER AND INVOLVEMENT WITH COMMUNITY SERVICE
Society must go back to family values –ABIOLA AGBAJE, CHAIRMAN, NIGERIAN SOCIETY FOR THE BLIND
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By Our Reporter on December 27, 2014 Style
A lot of things are believed to have gone wrong in the society as a result of loss in family values. Parents, government and the society have always received a fair share of the blame in this regard. Mrs. Abiola Agbaje is one of those concerned citizens who believe that for the country to move forward, we must revisit our family values. Abiola Agbaje is a lawyer and worked for many years in the housing industry. She also worked with Federal Mortgage Bank and Mutual Trust Savings and Loans before she voluntarily retired. She is the Chairman of the Nigerian Society for the Blind.
She is the wife of Jimi Agbaje, the Peoples Democratic Party’s gubernatorial flag bearer (PDP), Lagos State. In this interview with VIVIAN ONYEBUKWA, she speaks about her growing up days, marriage, society and women in politics, among others.
How did you come about the Nigerian Society for the Blind?
My father was on the council many years ago. I remember when we were young he would always drag us here for their events, sporting events, graduation and things like that. You know as children we were reluctant then, we were wondering where he was taking us to. But as one grew older, we found out that it was really a good thing to give back when you have been blessed and you see that there are others who can help. So, this was the first place that I decided to look at. Fortunately about the same time when I was thinking about it, the chairman at that time, Ebun Onabanjo, invited me to join the council, that was about 10 years ago now that I have been with the Nigerian Society for the blind.
How has it been, what is your experience associating with the blind since you joined?
I started out as an ordinary council member and what that entails is coming in to see how this place can be better run and be better funded, looking after the student, participating in their activities, and I have found it very challenging but very fulfilling all over the years. When I took over as the chairman, my responsibilities changed. I had to get more involved. I had to be more current in coming here and generally I had to be involved in the fund raising for this organisation. my responsibilities changed. I had to get more involved. I had to be
You said something about challenges, can you mention some of them?
There are many challenges. First is the finance, which is a great one because, as you know, it is an NGO, it is not for profit-oriented organisation. So, every penny we spend is what we have to source from other people and corporate organisations. We have to go begging all the time for money. That has been the greatest challenge. Another big challenge we have is the fact that traditionally Nigerians have this stigma against people with disability. No matter how much we tell ourselves that we are the same, they are not the same in our opinion. So, we found out that the visually challenged are relegated to the background and are kept in the home or sent on the streets to beg and that is what we are trying to change. Some kind of blindness, like the ones we handle here, is not blindness from birth. It is blindness from adolescent or adulthood. It makes it worse. You have been an excited person, you have been doing everything yourself, you have been independent and all of a sudden you lose your sight; it is double trauma. So, first of all, we have to counsel before we can rehabilitate. Those are the major challenges we have.
Can you recall your growing up days?
My growing up was idealic, very enjoyable. I grew up in a university environment. My father happened to be the first Nigerian librarian; He was the librarian for the University of Lagos. So, I grew up all my life in the university environment; We lived on the campus. I went to the University of Lagos staff school; we were the first set, before I proceeded to secondary school. It was a very sheltered upbringing because if you understand the environment of a university, lecturer’s children and families, we all grew up together watching the students and of course wanting one day to be able to go to the university like them.
How did that environment affect your life?
It made me want an orderly life. I could see the benefits of family because the university and the lecturers were family unit. So, I wanted an orderly, sheltered life and, of course, an educated life. And my parents also made sure that they did all they could to encourage all of us children to go as far as we could.
What are your memorable moments in life?
The day I graduated from the university, the day I married the love of my life, the day I had my first child and my first promotion at work, these are all happy moments. And on the flipside, when you lose your loved one; the day my mother passed on and the day my father passed on. These are all sad moments considering the kind of life we had lived, how close we were, very painful. And, of course, no life is ever without challenges. You learn to deal with them as they come, and each challenge makes you stronger. It prepares you for the next challenge in life. All in all, my life is full of blessings and I thank God for it.
If you have an opportunity to change something in this society, what would that be?
Our value! We have lost our value. And those values are lost even from childhood. So, what we need to do is go back to the drawing board and retrieve those values we have lost and make sure that our children even from nursery imbibe them. As I find in Nigeria now, I always say it, wrong has become right. People do things now not even thinking about whether they are right or wrong, It is because everybody does it. It has become accepted and we are just going on like that. We need to change, that is the major problem we have. If I could say so, it still goes back to the family unit. If we don’t get the values in our family unit right, there is nothing we can pass on to the society.
Who are we to blame?
We blame ourselves, parents, society and government. Yes, government, but who are the people in government? We are the people in government. They are not aliens. It is we the people that are in government, and we the people have lost our values. There is nothing we can do. In everything we are doing as people, wrong has become right and until we address it, we are not going to make much success.
How do you think it can be done?
We should go back to basics. Teach your children this is the right way and that is the wrong way. We must tell ourselves the truth. Sometimes the wrong way comes with fame but the fame only lasts for a little while, after a while, you get past it. And when the right becomes what you do on a normal basis, everything else will fall in place. Even if someone is driving the wrong way and someone is coming against traffic and none of us says anything because if you dare to say anything, he gets at you. How can that society of insane people pass it on to the next generation? They are watching us. And if we can do it, why can’t they? Unfortunately, when it comes to the next generation, they will do it even worse than you have. In past years, we were talking of 10 per cent on contracts, now it is 70 per cent on contract. And nobody think anything is wrong with it. It is acceptable because we have to have money. We have made money our god and our idol. There is much more to life than that but the truth of the matter is that we are not taking anything away with us.
How much support is your husband getting from you in terms of his political career?
A hundred and 10 per cent. He is a man I have known for almost 40 years. So, I believe I know his character, I know what he is capable of, know what his ability to achieve and deliver is. And knowing that I firmly believe that he is one of the people that this country needs to take us back on the path we think that we have trailed off. That is what I like about him.
How can you assess the level of women’s participation in politics?
We are getting better but there is still a lot to be done. I don’t think any other government has given women as much participation as the Jonathan government. He has done a lot, but we are certainly not where we should be. There are so many areas where women are not at the level they should be. I believe we must always strive to get that gender equality as it will be so necessary to move the country forward.
2015 is around the corner, what is your advice to women?
We have to teach our children and men folk to perform their civic responsibilities without violence, with fairness, with the greater good in mind. We need to ensure that we ourselves are part of the political process in different ways. You must ensure that you register to vote irrespective of party affiliation because no matter what you want to do, in 2015 if you are not registered, you cannot help that particular person you want to come there. That is the first message I will send out. Our young people who have now reached voting age, we women; mothers, aunts, sisters, make sure you go and register. You explain to them what it means to have the vote, how important it is that they now have the vote and they must use it wisely. They must use it otherwise somebody else will use it on their behalf.
You made mention about 40 years of marriage…
We are not 40 years in marriage. I met him 40 years ago, but we courted for quite a while, and we’ve been married for 33 years now.
How has it been?
It is very good. I thank God that I married my friend. It is very important to be friends before anything else. So, in all the years things change, marriages evolve and because we are friends we evolved with the marriage. We are all getting older; some things die, some things get better but when there is friendship, there is understanding. You have to like the person you are living with and that is what friendship is about, that is what marriage is about. And when both of you have God on your side, I don’t think there is any problem that you cannot surmount. There are always challenges, every marriage has challenges but with dialogue, communication, love, respect and friendship, you can get through whatever comes your way.
What has life taught you?
Life has taught me a lot. Life has taught me different things along the way. As a young person, you always think you are invincible, nothing can happen to you. As you grow older, you begin to see that the things you thought were important are not so important. Life has taught me to be patient, calm. Life has taught me that you need to put God in the proper place in your life. Life has taught me that family is paramount because there is nobody like your family. It has taught me that the material things in life, though important, are not the most important. Friendship, love, companionship, helping others are much more important than acquiring and amassing material things.
How best do you like to dress?
I like to dress in things that I am comfortable in. I love fashion. I love looking good like every other woman but one must also know what fits one and dress appropriately. For me, looking good doesn’t have to be expressive.
What does style mean to you?
Style means my entire personality. Not only what I wear, the way I comport myself, the way I speak to people and the way I behave even when people are not looking. That is what style is to me.
What is your best food?
I am a traditional Nigerian, I love to swallow. I can take swallow anytime. My husband makes fun of me. When at 11 o’clock in the morning I am eating amala, he thinks I am a bush woman but I enjoy my swallow.
Mrs Patience Ambode is press shy obivious,Very little is known of her except that she and her husband waited for 18years after marriage before having a set of twins,she is said to be a bussinesswoman.
