Break Up with Your Girlfriend Nicely Step 1.jpg
1
Don’t break up with your partner by text, phone or email. This is disrespectful, and for your soon-to-be ex, it can feel like you’re being evasive. Have the decency to do it privately and in person.
You might not realize it, but there are benefits to ending a relationship in person. For one thing, it gives both people a chance to talk and reflect on the situation. And even though it will be harder to do, it will most likely lead to less drama, which is a good thing.
Break Up with Your Girlfriend Nicely Step 2.jpg
2
Don’t place blame solely on the other person for the breakup. Things are never that simple. Be prepared to discuss your relationship without pointing your finger.
You can probably find bad things about your relationship that you contributed to, if you really wanted. In an effort to be fair, and to not have your ex-girlfriend feel like she is directly responsible for the end of the relationship, be sure to mention the things that you could have changed to make the relationship better.
Break Up with Your Girlfriend Nicely Step 2Bullet1.jpg
In some cases, the blame will be solely on the other person. In those situations, it’s okay to tell it like it is. If your girlfriend is cheating, abusing drugs, manipulative, or increasingly disrespecting you, you can lay the blame directly on her actions.
In most cases, this can cause an argument, so be prepared. The upside is that you’re being honest with both yourself and her why the relationship didn’t work, leaving you both with a better chance of finding lasting love later on. Isn’t that what you both want?
Break Up with Your Girlfriend Nicely Step 3.jpg
3
Don’t lead your ex on. If you don’t want to be friends afterward, don’t leave the door open for that possibility. Find a nice way to say it. Instead of “Oh yeah, and I don’t want to stay friends afterwards, just so you know,” try something like “You know that I care for you. I just don’t think it will be healthy for either of us to stay friends immediately after we break up. Hopefully sometime down the road, when we’ve both figured stuff out, we can get to that place.”
Break Up with Your Girlfriend Nicely Step 4.jpg
4
Don’t be a blabbermouth. Use discretion when telling mutual friends about your break up. Bragging or gossiping could be very hurtful to someone who may already be in a fragile emotional state. On top of that, it could encourage your ex to sling some nasty rumors your way, and generally cause some immature behavior.
Tell your close friends, but don’t publicize your breakup to acquaintances or people you hardly know. It’s probably a good idea to tell your close friends what happened between you and your ex. It’s probably not such a great idea to start telling your entire social circle via Facebook, or every girl in your school, that you and your ex are history. It just smacks of desperation.
Break Up with Your Girlfriend Nicely Step 5.jpg
5
Don’t be petty. Being “petty” can be hard to define, but it usually includes doing things that you wouldn’t want your girlfriend to do with you if she were hypothetically breaking up with you. This is called the golden rule. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. It’s a great rule.
Don’t cheat on your ex before you break up with them. If something is simmering between you and another girl, have the decency to wait a bit, really think about your feelings, and break up with your current girlfriend before you do anything with the other girl. It will look better to your ex, and feel better for you.
Don’t treat them poorly before the relationship has ended. (Better yet, don’t treat them poorly at all.) If you’re still in a relationship, you owe something to the other person. It’s not really okay to check out before things have ended. If you don’t feel like being nice to your girlfriend, you owe it to her to give her the opportunity to find someone who can.