OBASANJO AND ME – JULIE COKER

Veteran broadcaster, former beauty queen,  singer and  business woman, Chief Julie Coker  has  for a long time remained a role model for many aspiring young women . At present, she runs a relationship column in Vanguard  where she tackles the problems of young people in and out of marriage. Recently, a young man wrote  to her column saying, “After going through Iyabo’s letter to her dad, I am tempted to write to my dad who was equally unfair to me, my siblings and my mother. Now I want  to know if the pages of newspapers are the best court to settle family scores. Please advise me because I have a more pathetic tale to tell’’.

Julie Coker was a bit unsettled about this letter having been mentioned in the Obasanjo family feud by Mrs Oluremi Obasanjo in her book ‘Bitter Sweet’ as someone very close to Stella with the unwritten insinuation of encouraging Stella against the other women in Obasanjo’s life. But the letter written by the young man spurred Julie Coker to explain her role in the Obasanjo family feud.  She spoke with Saturday Vanguard about her first encounter with  Chief Obasanjo and also  her encounters with the rest of the family. Excerpts :

‘’Somehow I was a bit close to the Obasanjo family then. I was very close to Stella because she was my in law. It was actually through her that I became close to the family. Before her, I met Obasanjo formally at the opening ceremony of FESTAC 1979. I was a member of FESTAC committee that was formed then. That was my first encounter with him. It was Gowon’s administration that inaugurated  FESTAC 1977 but there was a lull and Obasanjo as Head of State revived it.

During that ceremony, he, (Obasanjo) walked up to me and told me that my  aso-ebi was fine;  that we chose the right colours and material. He asked for the cost of the aso-ebi . I didn’t know how to answer such a question so I told him I didn’t know the  cost. A lot of us in the same committee especially the ladies wore the same clothes and material.

I told him that I didn’t know the cost.  I was really afraid and I didn’t want to offend him. So, I told him that the committee had a chair person and  she  would be able to answer this question properly.  I took excuse and walked away. I think that annoyed him because  he went and told the service chiefs that I walked out on him and they started coming to me, demanding to know why I was disrespectful to the Head of State, that he said  I was disrespectful to him. I told them what happened and that I didn’t see anything  wrong in what I said.

I greeted him as Head of State  but  didn’t know how to answer his question about the cost of  our aso-ebi  and that the chairman of the committee would be able to  answer the question properly. Commander Adeyara was the first to come to me  and said, did you sound disrespectful to the Head of State? I said, no sir, I didn’t. Others came to ask the same question but when General Joe Garba came, I started crying when he insisted I must have said something to upset the Head of State because he was very upset. So, I couldn’t continue with the job. I just dropped the job of  attending to the service chiefs and went back to my broadcasting job. That was my first encounter with Obasanjo and it was not a pleasant one.

So,that was all?

Yes of course. I went back to my job as a  presenter. That committee job of  FESTAC 1979 was just a ceremonial job. I decided that I did not want to get into trouble and so, I went back to my work with a  first impression about Obasanjo as a very cantankerous person and Head of State.

Did it occur to you that he might have sacked you as a broadcaster if he wanted?

I didn’t think of that really but the service chiefs pounced on the lady who was the Chair lady of our committee.

So, when I was walking out of the FESTAC venue, the lady walked up to me and said, Julie, if anybody would tell me that somebody will make me lose my job, I would not believe you will be the person. Because, they said you offended the Head of State on a day like this when everybody was supposed to be very happy. We want to ensure that everything goes on smoothly and now, you have said something to the Head of State that really annoyed him.

So that was my first encounter with Obasanjo. At the back of my mind, I have always had that impression of him as somebody who is a bit strict. The lady that was in charge of  our committee then was a Commander in the Navy.  But thankfully, she was not sacked. More over, I had this feeling that if I’d said we paid so much  for the aso-ebi, it could amount to anything because I didn’t know what exactly he wanted to know. If I had told him, it could mean indicting the people who gave out the contract for the aso-ebi. So, I politely told him I didn’t know and walked away but that offended him.

When you left the venue, didn’t they call you back?

No. That didn’t happen. I went back to my own job and I didn’t have anything to do with the committee again. Nobody asked me to come back. I didn’t know what transpired between them and the Chairman of our committee but she was not sacked.

They did not pay you for the services you provided?

No. We were not paid.  I was just surprised that he asked about the price of my clothes. I was surprised because, as a man, I didn’t not know what to tell him. If it was a woman, it would have been different. I might tell him that it was costly and he would misunderstand it. So, the only thing that came to my mind was to say that I didn’t not know anything about the clothes.

Was he married to Stella at that time?

No, he was living a life of a bachelor.

But he had a wife then?

Yes, he had the mother of Iyabo Obasanjo but they were separated then. They  already had problems in their family. He had abandoned the family then.

When next did you get to meet him after the FESTAC 1979?

They had left office. I met him a week after the end of his tenure with  General Yar’Adua. He was having his thanksgiving service and Stella said that he asked us to come.

Was he then married to Stella?

Definitely they were not married, but they had a child. Stella said  he asked her to come for the thanksgiving service.  It was there that I met Iyabo’s mother, the woman who included my name in her book, titled, “ Bitter Sweet”. She did not know I was going to be there because, I had never seen her before in public. It was much later that I learnt that they  moved back into their home; that she and Obasanjo had reconciled. Obasanjo only went to work in Otta on Mondays to Fridays and  would return to Abeokuta their family home at weekends. He was still having his holidays this period in preparation for a thanksgiving service to round off his tenure as Head of State  properly.

Most people  normally have thanksgiving service whenever they are retiring from service. So, he invited us to the  thanksgiving. We didn’t know the other woman would be there.

So,  Stella and I entered the house. We just walked in and behold, the woman was able to recognize me. She thought that I was the one her husband was dating. She told me, that she heard that many women  have kids for her husband, whether I am one of them?  She said, is that not Julie Coker?  I said yes. I was thinking she was going to be friendly but she was roaring like a tiger. She was really in a combatant mood. When I saw her mood, I was like, trying to stay a bit far from her because, I knew with the mood , if she had something dangerous, she would have used it on me. But luckily, there were a lot of people there.

Where was  Obasanjo when this was happening?

I think he overheard her when we were arguing because as I was telling her no, I was not one of them, he came out from the room where he was. When she saw him, she mellowed down. That was like the second time I came face to face with him  after the FESTAC  incident. I now pleaded with her. I told her that we came to celebrate with her and her husband, our out-going Head of State  after a successful tenure. She asked why we didn’t  go to the reception, why did we come to the house? But it was the man that insisted Stella must come to the house. But I couldn’t tell her that.

You didn’t know that they have reconciled then?

It didn’t not occur to me. I told her that we were there for entertainment. I said that in Yoruba and in a lighter mood. She now said, of course it was an entertainment but, I could have been somewhere else. She  said that they were going to give us Amala and Ewedu with some other traditional foods. Stella now said, no, that she was not going to eat that.

Then, she walked away. I took my bag and went to the car and sat down. I was furious. It was not my idea to go to the house but the man said Stella should come to the house and mama Iyabo could not even recognise her. All these while, when the argument was going on and Obasanjo came around,  he didn’t say anything. But his appearance made the woman to calm down.

We went to the reception, but I did not go in the same car with them. When we came back, I sat down but he didn’t recognize me. They already had it in mind that I was the person having an affair with Obasanjo and that was why they wrote my name in the book. Meanwhile, Stella who had a baby with Obasanjo was  not recognized by Oluremi. And there was another woman at the reception, A Brazilian who had kids with Obasanjo but Remi didn’t know about her.

This other woman had a boy and a girl for Obasanjo who even till today  are much closer to their  father than others. They look very much alike. But Stella and that other woman were not recognised that day. I was the innocent broadcaster who was accused of being a mistress to Obasanjo. Besides, on that day, I didn’t just come alone with Stella. I came with other members of Stella’s family. But when I saw how Remi was attacking me, I decided to shield Stella and started speaking with Remi in Yoruba and Stella didn’t understand Yoruba.

What happened afterwards?

That evening marked the end of their marital reconciliation. They just reconciled the two of them and then this happened and after that thanksgiving, the marriage was over. Everybody put the whole blame on me. I just swallowed the whole thing. But after that incident, Stella moved into the Obasanjo family house. Before then, she already had a child with Obasanjo. It was  a series of events, one after the other. Stella was the one that loved Obasanjo more than the  other women. The period that she lived with him was longer than any other woman that had  children for him.

From what I heard about Remi  from the family, she and Obasanjo  had a good and lengthy courtship in their youthful stage. They got married like youths coming together. But obviously, there must have been some irreconcilable differences  between them which we cannot judge because we were not living with them. Obviously when Stella wanted to exercise her own relationship with him,  she noticed that the man didn’t have a wife. She  thought that there was nobody in the house.

But Stella and I came to the house and saw a woman spoiling for a fight and  the woman preferred to attack the wrong person because she didn’t know how to address the issue.

After the thanksgiving church service, we wanted to go home but the man insisted that we should follow them home.  I pleaded with Stella not to go to the house again but she refused.

So, we went.

Why  did she  go back to the house?

Perhaps, she too was thinking about her own problem with the man. She was also thinking of how to discuss with the father of her son because, she couldn’t just walk away from the father. After all, the woman was not attacking her. I was the target and I should not have offered myself as a sacrificial lamb. I just managed to calm down the tempo.

You escaped again?

Yes, but we met again in London. This time, it was Obasanjo, Iyabo and I.

Oh my God. What happened this time?

At that time, Stella and Obasanjo were already married and Stella was staying with the husband. She left me somewhere with Obasanjo and  a friend and  shortly after, Iyabo Obasanjo came in with her sisters.  I recognized her immediately because she looks very much like her  father. She came to see the father but she refused to greet him or speak to him.

Three of them that came were all looking like the man. Obasanjo complained to me that ‘my children came to see me but they are not speaking to me’. That was when I asked them their names and started acting like a middle man between them and their father. This was happening prior to his inauguration as President in 1999.

In between the months when he won the election and the time for his swearing in, he travelled to London and that was where we all met with the children. He was  asking me, how can you handle this situation as a woman, how can my children come to where I am and refuse to talk to me? He asked me because I was older than the other women in the house so, he felt I could handle the situation better.

Luckily, Iyabo agreed to talk to me. That was when I obliged to come into the family matter. Obasanjo asked me to do that for him. So, I told them,  you have come to see your father, why won’t you greet him? They had no reason to hold grudges at that time because he just came out of jail and just won the 1999 election.

I learnt that when the man was thrown into jail,  he gave them a better home. After that, they felt that they needed  something tangible they could lay their hands on. So, I heard they moved into the Otta farm. So,when he came out,  he ran to meet them there. There were two locations  there:  the Otta farm and their Abeokuta home. And from the farm to Abeokuta was an hour’s drive.

Was he the one that invited them to London?

They came on their own. They were all living in a hotel that was meant for government officials. Stella was also staying there. It’s  called Governors’ Hotel owned by the Federal government. They normally use it anytime they travel for official events. Usually, the Head of State does not stay in the Nigerian House.  They have an official residence for him in London.They were living in the Governors’ Hotel at Park Lane that time. So, I asked  Iyabo to greet her father.  Obasanjo told me to ask Iyabo and her sisters to come for his inauguration on May 29 because, he felt that I have already developed a good rapour with her.  It was not funny looking back. The first time, I had a problem with the father and this time, it was with the children.

When you asked Iyabo to greet her father, did she greet?

Yes, she did but the other two sisters did not say a word. I was now the spokesperson for him. I was telling them whatever their father asked me to tell them. He would tell me what to say and I would tell them. The man said  he wanted them to come for his inauguration and they were all there. He made preparations for their travel. So, I said, yes, your daddy said that you don’t have to buy your own tickets, that everything have been taken care of.  From what I heard, all of them were given proper transportation and accommodation.

They also had vehicles to transport them. The reason people think that they were not treated well was because, they were not given care at the initial time. I think why Iyabo felt bad was that she pushed through the crowd to see her father at the inauguration and Stella was seated at the state box. What people do not understand was that, Stella had worked with Obasanjo during the campaign and she had stayed with him all through his tenure. She also stayed with him all the time in prison. She was the one that was going around announcing to the whole world that please,  he should be released from prison. She went even as far as the United  States.

Initially, Iyabo didn’t accept to attend the inauguration. She said that they had exams coming.

I pleaded with them  that the inauguration was very important and since it wasn’t their first degree, they could write the examinations some other time. So eventually, they  came for the inauguration. They were accommodated and were given good treatment. The only thing was that their father could not go there to stay with them but they were given someone to take care of them. Even when one of the women who had children for Obasanjo died, Stella and Obasanjo went to her funeral.

She was a Brazilian. It was a big story when she died. Obasanjo attended the funeral with Stella. She died of kidney problem. After that, he lived with the children. Stella trained  the dead woman’s son alongside her own son. But  they are now on their own. Maybe Obasanjo  did not do enough for Iyabo and her siblings. Iyabo is like a daughter to me. When she was made a Commissioner, I went to see  her at Abeokuta.  I went to greet her and I asked her if she still  remembered  me, that I was the person who reconciled her and her father. She said she remembered and said thank you. So, it is not as if I am telling stories.

But one thing I know is that Obasanjo’s letter at Christmas to Jonathan was not a good one.  It was not good  to have written that letter and at that time.  I was still thinking about that, not knowing that the daughter has gone to write her own. I said, even if she had to say that to her father, it had to be in private and not in public.

There would have been  time for them to come together. I think she has to go to her father to apologise and the father should apologise to Nigerians. Obasanjo has people who look up to him and  copy  so much from him especially regarding areas of employment among others.

Did he ever remember the first encounter you had with him?

I’m not sure he did.

You should have called him when they were writing letters ?

Yes, you are right. I would have done that but I didn’t  have his direct number anymore. It was Stella I was close to. Obasanjo didn’t say sorry to his kids for the way he treated them in the past. He is just a typical Nigerian father who does not want to start apologising to the daughter. He invited her and she accepted. I think that was his way of saying sorry but he should have brought her closer as the first daughter.

He should have brought her and her siblings together to let them know that if anything happens to him, she should be the one to take care of her younger ones. He has not done that. He should let go and bring them together. It is time for them to bury the hatchet and become a family again. The days of the early childhood story should be forgiven by Iyabo and her siblings. She is the first daughter and the one to unite the family when the father is no longer there.